Book Review: “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn. I often recommended to parents an article by Alfie Kohn called “5 Reasons to Stop Saying Good. Unconditional Parenting has ratings and reviews. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by. 54 quotes from Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason: ‘Even before i had children, I knew that being a parent w.

Author: Kazrajar Taugor
Country: Equatorial Guinea
Language: English (Spanish)
Genre: Art
Published (Last): 2 November 2012
Pages: 326
PDF File Size: 11.97 Mb
ePub File Size: 3.12 Mb
ISBN: 755-4-75231-737-3
Downloads: 4063
Price: Free* [*Free Regsitration Required]
Uploader: Torr

We have new posts each day by unconritional authors providing us with insight into why gentle parenting is worth your time and how to implement it on a daily basis. Once we do get to the advice portions of the book, it’s vague.

This teaches kids to conform to external standards without developing internal moral reasoning, teaches them to submit to authoritarian behavior, and has a direct causal link to later mental health issues like parentig and anxiety.

She’s fully potty-trained and was sitting 2 feet from the bathroom at the time.

This is different than empathy, because you are just trying to understand how they think and feel, rather than feel what they are feeling with them.

I went to a class later that day and the therapy model they were teaching is behavorisim, which is exactly everything this book said not to do. This is the best book on parenting I have ever read. How is a child supposed to know he accomplished something worthwhile if nobody is there to tell him “Way to go!

Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments including “time-outs”rewards including positive reinforcementand other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us.

Unconditional love, ;arenting short, kkhn what children require in order to flourish. There is much to say about this book, but I will sum up: This is all a way of working WITH your child, and it models respect, curiosity, and engagement with much more impact than a patronizing pat on the head will do.


And when I assume the best of them, it makes everyone happier.

A gentle explanation is more powerful and effective than a harsh reprimand. Just One Thing But as Kohn explains and I’m paraphrasing big-timejust the fact that you’re trying means you’re doing the right thing.

Allow your children to unconditioonal to you their take on the world so that you can gather important information needed to better understand their behavior. Don’t let your upbringing dictate how you raise your own kids.

While I accept some of Kohn’s premises respect children’s ability to make decisions, expect age-appropriate, ability-appropriate behaviorI disagree with his disregard of parents’ emotions and feelings. By leaving out these practical tips, Kohn abandons those of us in the trenches. It was truly impactful. The author even gives the study and the results of the study, he doesn’t just say “Researchers found Want to Read Currently Reading Read.

Sep 19, Megan rated it it was amazing. My criticism of this — saying that we should avoid all these “doing to” reactions that imply conditionality — is that it’s not possible.

Why Punishment Fails It makes people mad.

Refresh and try again. Return to Book Page. And that unconditioal is what parents — probably every parent who reads this book — is seeking. Second, the dangers are just as great if, when they do succeed, we lavish positive reinforcement on them in such a way as to suggest that our love is based on what they’ve done, not on who they are.

Jun 27, Amy rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Up to that point, the author spends most of his time trying to convince you of his central thesis: Hell, let me tell you kohhn of the shit my kid did To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

The more we say “Good job! Kohn turns conventional “wisdom” slfie “discipline” on its head.

35: Happy Kids, Better Relationship: Unconditional Parenting with Alfie Kohn

We are also giving away several parenting book and other goodies from our sponsors this week. It came at such a perfect time; it has been amazing to implement some of alie strategies over the last couple of weeks and see how much better our days have been. Thank you for sharing that, Emily, I will check out the story.


I love those pictures! Hopefully you can build a …more I imagine it is helpful with teenagers. Neil Sattin on Risk, Vulnerability, and Courage Who can resist the urge to be excited about poo in the potty?

Instead of a quiet lights out, child 1 starts to loudly whine and cry and jump out of bed because ‘I don’t want to go to sleep! This podcast transformed my life and my relationship. Too Much Control The dominant problem with parenting in our society isn’t permissiveness, but the fear of permissiveness. As I was sitting there watching them “teach” us how to put our children in time out with the “naughty” point from the Nanny which I actually used to love my stomach began to churn.

The more that people are rewarded for doing something, the more likely they are to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward.

Alfie Kohn – Unconditional Parenting

alfue Kohn’s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as “perhaps the country’s most outspoken critic of education’s fixation on grades [and] test scores. This book did have some good points but you have to skip to the end. We’re so worried about spoiling kids that we often end up over controlling them.

I didn’t know how exhausted it was possible to become, or how clueless it was possible to feel, or how, each time I reached the end of my rope, I would somehow have to find more rope. And over and uncondiyional, I would think to myself: